Thursday, 2 February 2017

Dining with a Toddler: The 10 Commandments

If you've got a toddler I'm sure you'll be aware of The 10 Commandments.  These commandments are ESSENTIAL to the smooth running of mealtimes - disobey if you dare!  If you are still blessed with a speechless, non argumentative baby or you're in pregnancy bliss, congratulations, you've got a head start, some of us were not privy to these rules and we spent many a meal time suffering for it... consider this training - you're welcome. 

  1. I must sit on you or hang on to your arm.
  2. I will eat from your plate.
  3. You will not eat from my plate.
  4. I will drink your drink.  You must finish said drink once I have deposited half of my chewed dinner into it.
  5. Each mouthful will not be greater than the size of a baked bean - no exceptions.
  6. I must be praised - with applause and standing ovation after every mouthful.
  7. Dinner must be on my special plate - spoiler alert: special plate changes every day and sometimes seconds after I've chosen said plate and you've plated up dinner.
  8. Cutlery? What's cutlery? I WILL use my hands - for all foods.
  9. I will only eat 3 mouthfuls, pudding will then be provided, with a glass of milk followed by whatever snacks take my fancy while I watch a really mind-numbing cartoon.
  10. None of these rules apply to Grandma or anyone else who cooks for me - unless you're there.


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