For Lucas | Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Week

I wanted to mark Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness week by joining many others and writing a post about our experience.  This post is in many respects the easiest I could ever write, however, I've found myself putting it off for months, started and deleted it numerous times and left it as an untitled draft.  The last week, as most of you will know, I have been in hospital due to premature labour (which thankfully, has settled, for now).  I had my laptop with me and began to write what Brett and I went through, but nothing seems appropriate, I'm a pretty open book, I can and have talked openly about what happened and what we went through. For some reason I have really struggled to write it down in a blog post, sharing the intimate details just doesn't feel natural in this instance, for me. 


To anyone who has shared their story I have huge admiration for you, to anyone who has ever been through the horrific tragedy of losing a child, my heart goes out to you, not just over the week of awareness but every single day, because I know it's a pain you learn to live with not one that ever goes away. 

I have decided to share the following poem which I read after Lucas was born and was then read by the Vicar at his funeral. 

Daddy, please don't look so sad, Mummy please don't cry

Cause I am in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies. 

Please try not to question God, don't think he is unkind, 

Don't think he send me to you, and then he changed his mind. 

You see I am a special child, and I'm needed up above, 

I'm the special gift you gave him, the product of your love. 

I'll always be there with you so watch the sky at night, 

Find the brightest star that's gleaming, it's my halo shining bright. 

You'll see me in the morning frost that mists your window pane, 

That's me in the summer showers I'll be dancing in the rain. 

When you feel a little breeze from a gentle wind that blows, 

That's me, I'll be there planting a kiss upon your nose. 

When you see a child playing and your heart feels a little tug, 

that's me I'll be there giving your heart a hug. 

So Daddy please don't look so sad, Mummy please don't cry, 

Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies. 

- Author Unknown