"I'm not sure I understand what you're saying? This must be wrong, I'm on the pill?!" The doctor assured me it was in fact true, I was pregnant. I am pregnant - again!
I was in complete shock, I went to the doctors expecting them to tell me I'd developed another infection or worse, sepsis had reared it's ugly head again. But no no, despite needing fertility treatment after the loss of Lucas to conceive Oscar, I have managed to fall pregnant, again, whilst on the pill. Now I was religious about taking my pill, every morning with my cup of tea so this came as a complete and utter shock to me, and Brett. It was unfathomable. The doctor informed us that some people just get pregnant on the pill, but I've always been a sceptic, if anyone has ever heard the words "but I was on the pill" I'm sure we've all had a thought of disbelief. But for us, this really was the case. So, here we are, Emelia has just turned 3, Oscar 6 months and another baby on the way who is due early January.
Finding out I was pregnant this time didn't fill us with joy like previously, of course a baby is a blessing and in that sense how could you be unhappy. But after losing Lucas in the second trimester, going into premature labour at 28 weeks with Oscar, delivering at 32 weeks and almost losing my life, I think feelings of fear are pretty valid. We had made the decision after Oscar that we wouldn't have any more, we had our family and we had been through enough. However, you never know what life is going to throw at you, and like I said, a child is a blessing, some people can't have children or try for years to conceive and we have been blessed with another member of our family. It may not have been the plan, but it just proves, the best laid plans will always fail.
Although the thought of delivering a baby in Nicosia terrifies me, in a strange way, I feel remaining in Cyprus is the safest place as the care for babies is fantastic. I can have the same consultant I had previously, who knows every detail of what happened, so there is no way things will get missed or relaid incorrectly and he is already going over and above to make sure all precautions are in place. That being said, each pregnancy is different and this time could be the easiest of them all!
All of the above was written the day I found out I was pregnant and my blog has just taken a complete backseat ever since. It's taken some time for it to properly sink in and after the issues during my pregnancy with Oscar we needed to make sure everything was going ok before announcing it to the world. We've only just told our family and friends, which has certainly made it more real! I'm definitely starting to get more excited, seeing the scans have been lovely too, it's amazing how quickly they go from a bean to looking like a baby.
I will start documenting my pregnancy from now, along with a variety of other posts, this one was just to update you all, say I'm back, my blog is back, and our tie breaker is on its way!
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