Baby items are some of the most exciting things to purchase - for me anyway. Whether I'm buying for my own baby or as a gift, I'm always on the look out for something a little different, something that I'm not going to give that the recipient will receive 3 of. If there is one thing I have learned recently it's that a lot of baby clothes go to waste and it's such a shame.
Today is Mother's Day, a day we are supposed to celebrate and be joyful, a day, like many occasions, if looked forward to for weeks, months or perhaps years, a day that realistically, might not live up to how your expectations. Today I have seen many, many messages on social media from people thanking their mums, showing their presents or pictures capturing their day. But then there are the people who are wishing Mother's Day away, maybe it hasn't gone to plan, your expectations and hopes for the day haven't been met, or maybe you so desperately want to celebrate but for whatever reason aren't able to. As I sit here I can't help think how sad Mother's Day can be.
Blogging has taken a bit of a backseat this week, we've had visitors but mostly because Oscar hasn't been well, he came down with Bronchiolitis and needed lots of TLC. Cuddles have really been the only thing to settle him this week, which at times are really hard to give. I have Emelia to look after too and the tea won't cook itself! That's when I remembered I had the MyHummy white noise bear, 'Ash' and let me tell you, this bear has rescued me numerous times this week, and saved my sanity at 3am!
Having a baby in Neonatal Intensive Care is something you would never expect to happen nor can you prepare for. You'll feel emotions of grief, depression, anxiety, guilt and fear throughout your NICU journey, whether it's a day, a week or a month. You will celebrate things you wouldn't have before and witness heartbreaking moments you could never have imagined.
Before we start a huge debate/argument about whether co-sleeping is good for your child let me put in a (large) disclaimer. There is a plethora of research and blog posts displaying opinions about co-sleeping. At the moment you don't have to look far to come across one, to show there are two explicit sides to the co-sleeping argument.
Co-sleeping in many cultures is actually the norm, in the UK, the US, Australia and other western cultures we are not always given this as an option by our healthcare providers when they are educating us about caring for our babies. There was a look of horror on the face of a health professional I recently saw, where I admitted to co-sleeping. My husband and I are very happy with the arrangement and feel the pros outweigh the cons. When you mention co-sleeping, some look at you strangely and others are relieved you've brought it up so they can admit to doing it too. I neither advocate nor condemn co-sleeping. We have tried both and right now, due various reasons we have decided to stick with it.
We are no strangers to the hospital of late, between Oscar and I we've spent the equivalent of 2 months in the place. On Monday, Emelia was admitted, we were so shocked. She hadn't been herself for a couple of days but I thought she had a cold, possibly something brewing, but she was still playing, wanting to swim etc. so I thought she must be ok (major mum guilt now). We went to collect her from nursery and I could tell by looking at her she wasn't right, her face seemed slightly swollen and her cheeks were bright red. Her key worker said she hadn't spoken or eaten once all morning and they'd just taken her temperature which was 38. I took her straight to the doctor, to be honest, by now I thought she had tonsillitis, she has had it before and her symptoms were very similar. The doctor examined her for what seemed like ages, her heart rate was up, she was dehydrated and sugars showed in her urine. The doctor was concerned she had developed diabetes so referred her to hospital for urgent assessment.
We've all been there, and if you haven't yet been there, I'm sorry to tell you, it's coming. The dreaded, moment your child has THE meltdown of their life to date, in public. You can feel the eyes on you, everyone is looking, watching, judging, some emphasising watching not only your child scream, shout and throw themselves around like they're being murdered but you. They're watching to see how you're going to deal with the situation, particularly, to see if you're going to handle it the 'right' way.
Every other day a pregnant or recently pregnant woman dies in the U.K. 2/3 of maternal mobidity aren't due to pregnancy itself, but a medical or mental health condition. During or immediately after pregnancy 23% of maternal deaths are cause by CARDIAC CONDITIONS, 14% are caused by PNEUMONIA or INFLUENZA and 11% are caused by INFECTION/SEPSIS.
Last night was the mother of all sleep deprived nights, and believe me there have been some contenders. "You have a newborn what do you expect?" I hear you say, it's true, I do, but it wasn't just the night feeds keeping me up, poor Emelia was rocking an extremely high temperature and would not settle. In a desperate attempt to get some sleep I went against everything I usually stand for when it comes to bedtime and took her downstairs just before midnight. It was dark, there was no television on, but we made a bed downstairs to have a sleepover, just like Peppa Pig (that damn pig has a lot to answer for!). Still she would't settle, she wasn't upset, just wide awake and wanted to 'sit up' - 'no sleep for me tonight then' I thought as I looked at the clock as 2am was approaching. Oscar was about to wake for a feed, Brett was on nights and I was about to go and get dressed, clearly my day had already started. Eventually 3am came and Emelia was sprawled across our bed on the floor snoring away - have all the room my dear, as long as you're asleep! I fed Oscar and settled down to try and recuperate a bit of sleep. "Mummy, MUMMY LOOK I DID IT," holy moly what now?! I shot up and Emelia was sat proudly in front of 3 puzzles she had done, (quite impressive considering it was still dark) I looked at the clock simultaneously with her asking me for breakfast, 4:50am - Is this some sort of a joke?! How for one is she awake after very little sleep and two why is she so bright and breezy when she was so poorly a few hours ago? Don't get me wrong, of course I am pleased she is feeling better, but have we really been up for most of the night for nothing?! Someone somewhere is playing tricks on me that's for sure. Needless to say I was not going to give in to her having breakfast at that time of day, neither was I going to put on the lights and get up from my mangled bed on the floor, so I put Moana on, she seems to like it and it made a nice change from hearing Princess Poppy singing 'can't stop this feeling.'
Thursday 2nd March 2017 - Oscar is 2 months! Wow, how has that happened?! It's so strange looking at him as a 2 month old baby when he should have only just been born. February went by super quickly, we've had visits from both my Mum and Brett's mum, which meant 2 weeks were automatically filled. It's always lovely to see people, but it goes so quickly and you end up feeling a bit crappy for the couple of days after they leave.
I love to have books around the house, being pregnant with Emelia was a great excuse and opportunity for me to start her collection. We love going into book shops and discovering new books. I've been to people's houses before and there's not a book in sight, I can't fathom why people don't see how important books are for children and their development. I am passionate about helping my children develop a love for reading, reading helps children develop into confident, enthusiastic readers and learners.
